Carp

This is traditionally eaten on St Nikola’s day on 6^th December but it’s also what you’ll most likely get if you ask for a generic ‘fish’. Carp has all the usual difficulties of eating fish - digging around for meat, picking out bones, not looking it in the eye - and none of the rewards. There are bits that look as though they might be tasty but they’re just slimy flaps that slip around in your mouth until you can gag them down. At best, it has no discernible flavour, at worst, it has an earthiness that’s like eating sludge.